Yay, it's Friday!

I am happy every Friday because it means I have a couple days to sleep in with my husband. I know that since I'm not working, it seems that I would be able to sleep in every day, but that's not the case. When he leaves for work, I toss and turn. The bed is not the same without him in it. I love that man so much.

This morning, I didn't get my usual "I made it to work safe" text that he normally sends me. I started to panic. I later found out that he had sent me the text- it just didn't come through immediately. I some times have those moments where I worry I will lose him. I just know that I could never be without him. Knowing life with him has spoiled me in every way. I don't want to remember what life was like without him. He is my favorite thing about living. I want to leave this world together and although it may be an unrealistic wish, I still tell myself it will happen that way.

I am feeling much better today as far as the nausea is concerned. I think it's because I have been forcing myself to eat every 1.5-2 hours. I can't wait to take a hot shower and pray. I always feel better after I do that.

I have almost all of our Christmas shopping done- granted- we are only buying a couple things this year since money is tight. We are really looking forward to Adam buying Chadd's house so we can stop stressing over the mortgage every month. It's really just too much for us to handle. 

I just sneezed and it felt sooooo good. There is nothing like a good sneeze. Thank you, God.

I've been having a hard time drinking water from bottles lately. That's crazy. :)  I can only drink it if it's poured over ice in a glass.  Normally, I drink most my water at room temperature. 

I've been having a hard time with words lately. I guess it's the pregnancy brain. Yesterday, it was figuring out "worse" and "worst".   I know that makes me sound stupid, but I am going to blame my pregnancy on that. :)

I have noticed it's harder to focus and think clearly. I also get anxiety and panic worse than before.

Chadd was happy to see that I started a blog. I am pretty sure only a few people will read it, but it's not really for anyone but us and our family any way. I am sure it will get more fun as the babies grow. Right now, it's just a scrambler of random thoughts and feelings. I can look back on it later and laugh at myself.

Frankie called me this morning. He told me he was playing with trains, that Gabriel is sleeping and then he said "I love you"   <3   Yes, it made my day.

I was on facebook and saw something that really upset me. It made me think about how selfish people are. It made me remember how selfish I used to be. So I thanked God for changing me and for bringing me Chadd and I thanked him even more for getting my heart right BEFORE I met Chadd. I could never hurt that man. The thought of someone hurting him makes me angry. I have hurt many people in my life, in my past. I hope to never do it again. Especially those that I love. I have a hard time letting go of regret and guilt. I have a hard time forgiving myself. I have to work on that... but I think it's good for me to remember how it makes me feel so that I NEVER go back to that old Anna again.

Oh, last night, Chadd and I watched some cartoons and laughed our butts off. It was so awesome. I never imagined I could feel so happy. We snuggled and loved on each other, talked about our babies that are coming and many other things. Then, he walked IN THE SNOW to get me a slushy. When he went to pay for it, he realized he left his wallet at home. He walked back to get his wallet and went back to the store again. He didn't even complain. I didn't want him to do that but he wanted to. He is such a good man. We've gotten through our first year of marriage and have yet to have any real falling out. We barely argue and when we do, we are QUICK to resolve things. He is just perfect. I told him he was perfect in September 2009 (when we first met) and he insisted that he was not. A year and a few months later, I still stand by what I said. He is the most perfect person I have ever known.